That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
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I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
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He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him