That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him