Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
