Texts From Last Night · jacobbrown14's Favorites

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jacobbrown14's Favorites Texts:

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."

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(512): View more from Texas

Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(406): View more from Montana

I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.

(810): View more from Michigan

We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off

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