Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them