i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
of course. lets lasso hookers.
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Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.