Texts From Last Night

dorkestrsnerd's Favorites Texts:

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  (415): View more from California

  i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation

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  (415): i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation http://tfl.nu/jvhd
  Replies (7) Good night (1955) Bad night (377) Order T-Shirt
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.

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  (251): I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision. http://tfl.nu/w9kf
  Replies (24) Good night (3266) Bad night (835) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone

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  (614): i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone http://tfl.nu/w81g
  Replies (25) Good night (6160) Bad night (529) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober

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  (717): you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober http://tfl.nu/nwgl
  Replies (10) Good night (4763) Bad night (434) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....

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  (613): I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there.... http://tfl.nu/g27d
  Replies (4) Good night (1463) Bad night (2271)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that

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  (856): dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that http://tfl.nu/vsra
  Replies (33) Good night (5402) Bad night (869) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.

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  (978): Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war. http://tfl.nu/fra3
  Replies (11) Good night (644) Bad night (3191) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.

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  (614): if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle? (1-614): i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you. http://tfl.nu/6cnp
  Replies (34) Good night (348) Bad night (3627)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Most never. Some around 65.

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  (314): So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title? (816): Most never. Some around 65. http://tfl.nu/dvz5
  Replies (22) Good night (1984) Bad night (476)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation

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  (720): Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation http://tfl.nu/efec
  Replies (77) Good night (4985) Bad night (1170) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.

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  (512): He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay. http://tfl.nu/se3r
  Replies (25) Good night (1588) Bad night (2965) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.

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  (317): If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation. http://tfl.nu/ifsj
  Replies (11) Good night (4622) Bad night (1516)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?

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  (360): I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/rwph
  Replies (19) Good night (1299) Bad night (4680) Order T-Shirt
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy

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  (302): I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy http://tfl.nu/6i8p
  Replies (18) Good night (811) Bad night (1746) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?

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  (310): If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement? http://tfl.nu/kphp
  Replies (6) Good night (4915) Bad night (960)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  ...is it true? will i see you next weekend

  (248): View more from Michigan

  YES.

  (614): View more from Ohio

  ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us

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  (614): ...is it true? will i see you next weekend (248): YES. (614): ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us http://tfl.nu/m1xt
  Replies (22) Good night (3036) Bad night (651)
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  (415): View more from California

  Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.

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  (415): Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events. http://tfl.nu/5em3
  Replies (16) Good night (1775) Bad night (383) Order T-Shirt