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He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Duck Duck Cougar?
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