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You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Duck Duck Cougar?
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