Texts From Last Night

cowgurl's Favorites Texts:

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  (940): View more from Texas

  Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers

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  (940): Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers http://tfl.nu/bomc
  Replies (14) Good night (3920) Bad night (743)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.

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  (978): I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters. http://tfl.nu/m77a
  Replies (10) Good night (2697) Bad night (548) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Why are my keys in the refrigerator?

  (1-205): View more from Alabama

  You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.

  (205): View more from Alabama

  This explains so much.

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  (205): Why are my keys in the refrigerator? (1-205): You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you. (205): This explains so much. http://tfl.nu/ouwy
  Replies (30) Good night (17902) Bad night (887)
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  (212): View more from New York

  ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?

  (1-212): View more from New York

  this is Aaron, hi

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  (212): ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud? (1-212): this is Aaron, hi http://tfl.nu/ackd
  Replies (48) Good night (20343) Bad night (2052)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.

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  (612): You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast. http://tfl.nu/3zo3
  Replies (47) Good night (28644) Bad night (1075) Order T-Shirt
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  (661): View more from California

  the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.

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  (661): the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep. http://tfl.nu/zfm0
  Replies (74) Good night (40193) Bad night (1076) Order T-Shirt
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.

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  (321): Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting. http://tfl.nu/c1w6
  Replies (139) Good night (43934) Bad night (9334)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead

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  (513): I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead http://tfl.nu/yu41
  Replies (17) Good night (5954) Bad night (918)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.

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  (920): You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day. http://tfl.nu/y8lp
  Replies (9) Good night (2683) Bad night (707) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?

  (1-916): View more from California

  Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.

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  (916): In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room? (1-916): Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne. http://tfl.nu/vsj8
  Replies (10) Good night (4825) Bad night (617) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.

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  (217): So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world. http://tfl.nu/kbv9
  Replies (18) Good night (2317) Bad night (1475) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.

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  (585): He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working. http://tfl.nu/9caj
  Replies (8) Good night (4415) Bad night (555) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony

  (289): View more from Ontario

  Yeah I know, the people below me already told me

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  (416): You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony (289): Yeah I know, the people below me already told me http://tfl.nu/uh03
  Replies (5) Good night (2692) Bad night (574)