I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
it glows. i had to have it.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed