why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car