based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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