Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
