Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"