how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...