it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize