im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags