doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
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Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
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Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
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