ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
