She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
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he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
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just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house