Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.