She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
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I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
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His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.