Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
