We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.