I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.