the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.