After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
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The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
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And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine