Texts From Last Night

Texts from August, 2010

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"

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  (508): Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic" http://tfl.nu/1wpy
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  (818): View more from California

  i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign

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  (818): i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign http://tfl.nu/0lhe
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?

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  (603): Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right? http://tfl.nu/7voc
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  You made eat vitamins until I threw up

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  (303): You made eat vitamins until I threw up http://tfl.nu/o1t5
  Replies (9) Good night (694) Bad night (3270) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.

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  (317): He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me. http://tfl.nu/3k3l
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.

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  (203): our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation. http://tfl.nu/5n6h
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.

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  (603): I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months. http://tfl.nu/isje
  Replies (9) Good night (3622) Bad night (1284)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.

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  (703): This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar. http://tfl.nu/4fqp
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.

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  (405): It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you. http://tfl.nu/abkv
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  (325): View more from Texas

  The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am

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  (325): The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am http://tfl.nu/kqzx
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  (415): View more from California

  i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.

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  (415): i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me. http://tfl.nu/4nn8
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.

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  (904): I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck. http://tfl.nu/gj91
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  (305): View more from Florida

  nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night

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  (305): nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night http://tfl.nu/tom4
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  (949): View more from California

  I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.

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  (949): I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation. http://tfl.nu/uflu
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it

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  (603): my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it http://tfl.nu/xy2b
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