Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.