Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?