I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
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Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
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he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.