just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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