do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
it glows. i had to have it.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
