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• (214): View more from Texas

  I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  She kept screaming "best case scenario"

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)

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• (078): View more from

  Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  So much Jack, so little girl.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick

  (1-317): View more from Indiana

  That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure

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