If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.