I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine