I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
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They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
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i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.