Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.