Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
