I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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