Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
