We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Just high enough for therapy.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.