Tell her she can't have a vagina
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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