I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
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