eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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