My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
