If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
