didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
