I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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