Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
