all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
vagina is talking i cant
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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