these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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