can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
