eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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