My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
