I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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